"Do you believe that divorce is okay in certain situations? Why?"

I find the question bizarre. It seems to presume that divorce is not okay, well, except maybe in certain exceptional situations. If one person does not want to be married, the marriage ends. Can you think of a situation where one of the two participants in a marriage wants to disolve the marriage and it's not okay?

You mean, not okay ethically? Easy-peasy. When you marry you make certain enduring commitments of fidelity, exclusivity, etc. If one spouse wants unilaterally to renege on a commitment which he or she has freely and publicly made, and in return for which he or she has been given, and has accepted, corresponding commitments from the other spouse, doesn’t that raise obvious ethical issues?
In general, isn’t there an ethical obligation to honour commitments freely entered into?

They still display the sheet from the wedding night in parts of Europe to this day, that's one kind of fraud that deserves to be committed

Divorce seems to me to be another area where we have thankfully moved away from religious dictates and recognised that women have equal rights to end a relationship. Judaism allows a husband to divorce his wife on trivial grounds, the wife has no rights at all. Christianity strictly speaking does not allow it at all but most churches have been forced to rethink their interpretation of Matthew 5:32. Sadly the Catholic church remains trapped in a timewarp somewhere back in the last millenium.

I am unsure of the cultural basis of the tradition that requires the wife to display proof of her virginity via the stained bedsheet but I understand it is most common in a country with a strong Catholic background.

In patriarchal Muslim societies, virginity is the main criterion for the fidelity of unmarried women, the symbol of women's honor and, consequently, of the honor of her male relatives and of society-at-large. Presenting evidence of a bride’s virginity, such as a blood-stained bed sheet, is a central part of the wedding ceremony.


The exact custom varies from place to place, but the required elements are the same - "a blood-stained sheet and a scream". In some places, on a couple's wedding night, the mother of the groom might wait outside the room to hear a scream and then for her son to come out of the room and produce a blood-stained sheet indicating that his bride was virgin. In other places, the couple might retire to the bedroom during the wedding festivities while the crowd waits patiently with bated breath - a loud scream in pain emanating from the bedroom and the groom emerging holding high in his hands a blood-stained sheet as evidence of his bagged trophy is met with the roaring approval of the crowd.

In most cases though still today, the bride is expected to scream in pain from her hymen being ripped upon vaginal penetration and then bleed, thereby staining the sheets. If she does not bleed then she can be accused of not being a virgin and as such the marriage can be declared invalid. In some countries including Iraq, this can be met with dire circumstances with the male relatives immediately going into a primal blood-lusting frenzy and then doing the 'predictable thing'.

Even though the "blood-stained sheet thing" is gradually becoming a thing of the past in some of the more moderate Muslim countries, the obsession with proof of virginity still persists.

And so, on to the subject of insurance. In some places the groom might opt to have his piece of meat "inspected" and "certified" prior to the consummation of the marriage to avoid any unforeseen and potential "problems" that might arise. Until recently, it has been customary in some Muslim countries such as Egypt for midwives to break the hymens of the brides using their fingers thereby establishing the purity of the bride for the sake of the groom. The bride would be taken to the bedroom and told to relax while the midwives lift up her dress, pull down her panties, then bend her over a bed or chair, spread apart her buttocks and then with a white cloth-covered finger deflower the bride. A stuffed envelope given to the midwife earlier by the bride together with some chicken blood and a little slight of hand by the midwife would often be enough to convince the unsuspecting groom that he had indeed bagged himself a virgin.

Today with advanced medical technology, many Muslim women in Europe are now opting for an expensive surgical procedure out of fear to hopefully pass themselves off as virgins to their prospective spouses. While the actual procedure differs in many ways from female circumcision, the overall intent and purpose remains the same.