You know how the Asian kids especially the Chinese ones are always at the top of the class and then statistically over represented in business and the professions? Well a Chinese mother, marrried to a westerner has revealed some secrets of their success. No playdates, no TV, no computer games, and hours of music practise, is just part of it.
Of course her advice cuts right across the well established PC practises currently demonstrated in our schools and child care facilities, which is to treat children like delicate little hot house flowers. Some pyschologists will no doubt be horrified, but I think they're the ones who may have got it wrong.
Our students label academically ambitious students as "nerds". For some reason very few people feel able able to live with this title. They may regret their ignorance when they find themselves in a low paid, dead end job, and their doctor is a Chinese Australian, who looks about fifteen!
I know, because this is exactly what happened to me.
Not many of the regulars on this forum are interested in child oriented topics, so it would be interesting to hear what one of our other thousand odd members has to say.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB1000142 ... %3Darticle

I dunno, Christine. If this woman limits her children’s social contact with other children, and requires them instead to engage in “hours of music practice”, that’s pretty much the definition of hothousing, isn’t it? She sounds to me as if she’s forcing them like asparagus under glass, to be honest.

The attitude betrayed in the article appals me. What is the reason for this single-minded focus on academic success, regardless of the child’s aptitudes, talents or abilities? So that the child can get a high-paying, high-status job? The author of this article seems to have bought hook, line and sinker into a shallow materialist worldview. If there is any evidence that material wealth and high social status is a good indicator of happiness, wholeness or the ability to form strong loving relationships, now would be a really good time to point to it.

And what price is paid for this? Kids should be taught that it is not acceptable not to be the no. 1 student in any subject (except, for some reason, gym and drama), so that 29 out of 30 kids in the class are to be taught that they can never meet their parents expectations? Kids are taught that they must play piano and violin (and, bizarrely, no other instrument – what’s that about?) and practice it for up to three hours a day, regardless of whether they actually have any talent? Children seem to be required to excel in an apparently ramdom assemblage of activities, and forbidden to engage in others, and I can’t see that this serves any purpose except to undermine the children, teach them that their own wishes, tastes and talents are of no importance, and provide their parents with an opportunity for bullying them.

For my daughter, I want the things that matter in life, like health, happiness, love, friendship and emotional integrity. If she has those as an adult, then I the question of whether she works as a brain surgeon or a beautician is really of very secondary importance.

A bit of an over reaction, if I may say so Peregrinus.
It's only in comparively recent times, since the advent of Dr Spock, that western culture has adopted its present indulgent child rearing practises.
I count myself as a very soft mother and much as I love my offspring and they are good, intelligent, and kind people, there's not much evidence of a work ethic in either of them. If things look too dificult they tend abandon them for something easier. Maybe this laziness is not my fault, maybe its caused by smoking pot, or maybe it's just a pre requisite for being a member of gen Y, I don't know.
I really think if I'd laid down a better foundation by subjecting them to a stricter regime it would have made them stronger people.
No Peregrinus I wouldn't mind if my daughter became a beautician either, but what if she shirked work altogether?

Is it possible that when kids are constantly schooled and regimented into adult-supervised activities that they are stripped of spontaneity and creativity and begin to see all life as work? I often think about the Wright Bros who were apparently farm boys who were not stripped of their childhoods, didn't finish high school, much less have aeronautical engineering degrees, and managed to invent the airplane.

Obviously, Christine, I'm not going to comment on your children, who I'm sure are wonderful human beings. I would just point out that, if you find something difficult, abandoning it and turning to something you find easier is a perfectly rational strategy, if your objective is to get the best results for your efforts. You should play to your strengths. I certainly can't see that it's unethical.

As for the "present indulgent child-rearing practices" that have prevailed since the time of Dr. Spock, all the evidence is that the generation reared on them works considerably harder than previous generations. Australians have a higher participation in the workforce than ever before, and they work longer hours than at any time since the introduction of the eight-hour day. You can debate about whether that's a good thing or not, but it does little to support the view that the Dr. Spock generation is workshy.

All my working life I've worked in jobs that suited me, I went to University as a Mature Age Student and had never finished high school. I do have the distinction (not that it means much) of having Matriculated at Sydney Uni. It does throw people somewhat though when they have to see Academic records
I joined the Army at 18 and did alright therein and the qualifications that I picked up along the way have stood me in good stead in industry, but I never did a thing that didn't interest me and monetary gain has never been a goal. That I ended my working career as an Engineer was more an accident of life rather than a career path, and I often had to hide my light under a bushel to get a job that interested me. The downside of this was that people kept trying to promote me.
The great danger of promotion is that one may eventually be promoted to one's level of incompetence.

I've let my children work at their own capacity or below if they so wanted and all of them have done well, the youngest is in year 12 this year, shows great promise and seems to have a head on his shoulders, disagrees with me on most things and shows an inherited tendency towards laziness.

Good show!

Here's a thoughtful blog post on contrasting parenting styles, advocating less naked competitiveness and more 'conscience of craft'

http://excellenceandethics.org/blog/201 ... ng-styles/

The day I started work in my late teens I immediately reached my Level of Incompetence and never once stepped down from this lofty position in all of the succeeding years.

The wreckage I've left behind in my wake over a life-time of deftly passing the buck has been truly apocalyptic. Like an otherwise intelligent illiterate I managed to fool everyone that the shattered pieces around me were the cause of Acts of God, or break-and-enter vandalism by bored youths, or particularly aggressive termites.

Somehow I avoided detection for all of those years, and now that I'm languishing in the bosom of a happy and comfortable retirement I have time to reflect and feel the twinges of remorse for having escaped a just and righteous retribution for all of my past sins in the workplace.

For the Chinese - money, and social 'status' is everything. That's why as immigrants they are not into sports, or any of the 'useless' university courses.

All must be channeled towards a title that brings 'honour' to the family, with the certain prospect of accumulating wealth with their chosen profession.

Toward this end a great many immigrant Chinese aspire to send their kids to cramming factories outside of school hours. Textbook knowledge is rammed into them like the force-feeding of Strasbourg ducks.