Hi. Last week I discovered that my brother who's been living with our 88 year mother who suffers from dementia as well as a long list of other ailments, has not been paying his correct share of rent. They live in public housing. He works full-time and she's on a pension. She's been paying $66 more a fortnight than what she should without knowing and my brother has been capitalizing on it. This has been going on for over 4 years. As well as that, he hasn't been contributing towards the gas, electricity and telephone bills. Explains why he's able to go holidays overseas every year. Anyway, I approached him about it and he claimed that he wasn't aware of what had been happening and refused to compensate her loses on that basis. I'm just wondering, even if it was an honest mistake, should he return the money she had lost? Oh...by the way...by no means was he caring and looking after her either. He's simply not interested. I organised carers for her which she pays and they clean the house as well and only until recently, she had also been cooking his meals and washing his clothes. I'm pretty disturbed about all this. Your opinion would be much appreciated.

If he is not looking after her properly and she has dementia then she is at great risk in my view.
If she loses her memory whilst cooking she could set fire to the house, have an accident while cleaning etc and could be in all sorts of perils.

I would be looking into 24 hour care in a proper facility for her and then the son would have to leave the public housing and a low income family could benefit from that.

Time he stood on his own two feet anyway.

Thanks for your thoughts on this. Yes....totally agree that she needs 24 hour care and I am in the process of organising this.
"Time he stood on his own two feet anyway."
He's 63 years old and I doubt if there's much hope of him learning to stand on his two feet. It is not the first time he has exploited his mother and his family.

It is actually a crime. It's called elder abuse.

Perhaps you could contact someone from the Aged Care Assesment Team to get some advice on what your options are.

I'm sorry this is happening to your family. It must be very difficult for you .

Please consider contacting Ethi-call 1800 672 303. It's St James Ethics Centre free and confidential ethics counselling service available Australia wide. The Ethi-call counsellors are a group of professionals with broad experience in a variety of fields who have completed St James Ethics Centre's counselling training and participate in ongoing monthly supervision. The sessions are up to one hour, confidential and as anonymous as you want them to be (you are not required to give your real name or the name of any organisation involved). There are a series of questions and discussion enabling you to consider the decision you are facing from an ethical perspectitve. You will be assisted to explore dilemmas allowing you to reach a solution aligned with your own circumstances, principles and values.

Firstly, I wish to thank all of you for your thoughts and support. At the moment I'm trying to organise permanent residential care for her as advised by her doctor but I will contact Ethi and hopefully be steered in the right direction to bring some justice to this. It's the second time he has swindled her of her money. He cleaned her dry the first time of all the money my father had left her when he passed away. My attempts to recover it failed but it's not going to this time and I'm going to make damn sure of that.