Virginity is one hell of a gift

This article was published in The Sydney Morning Herald 1 February 2010

Virginity is not a ''gift''. To suggest it is, as Tony Abbott has, is absurdly childish. It's also ridiculously romantic. None of which would matter if the discussion stopped there. But it doesn't.

Instead, the Leader of the Opposition has raised the very ugly spectre of female virtue as a tradable, marketable, sellable commodity. By telling his daughters their virginity is ''the greatest gift that you can give someone'' and ''the ultimate gift'', he’s unwittingly reduced their myriad talents, strengths and capacity to love to mere crumbs, compared to the single act of deflowering. Abbott's logic suggests a female's most precious and important asset- above all else - is her sex. And that asset is most highly prized when it's presented new and unused.

Interestingly, and not surprisingly, we never talk about female virginity in terms of an exchange. There is no expectation of a ''gift'' in return. In fact quite the opposite. Young men the world over are encouraged, and indeed expected, to be sexually experienced by the time they take a bride. What use is her precious ''gift'' if he doesn't know what to do with it? Or how to handle it?